


Taking Risks

by Jamaican Princess (Rocquellan)



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drug Use, Hand Jobs, Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 08:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocquellan/pseuds/Jamaican%20Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoh knows that sometimes what Feilong wants, isn’t what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking Risks

**Author's Note:**

> my other entry for the mikhail/yoh contest on YA comm. This is the Yoh fic.

Yoh didn’t take time off from his job. Protecting Feilong and keeping him sheltered was a 24/7 affair, especially with how impulsive the man could be at times.

Earlier in the evening, with news that they had acquired the business of the transportation route in Kowloon, Feilong had ordered a small celebration for all in the Baishe household in way of the evening off. Even Tao was allowed to stay up and practice his calligraphy after 8pm. Some of them had a few rounds on the building’s twentieth floor, which housed their own private bar, different from the one open to the public on the first floor.

Yoh reflected on all this while he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling while he pictured Feilong’s face while he drank; a smile so rare he took care to lock it away in the deepest recesses of his heart while his mind locked away the key.

They stood closest together, with Yoh by Feilong’s side and because he was the one not divulging in the nights alcoholic regime, he was the one left with his head clear enough to notice all the stares from men and women; underlings and subordinates, who wanted Feilong physically. He noted with clarity also, who had eyed his charge with barely concealed contempt, or the gossipers who couldn’t keep their mouths shut. He knew, people like them would be the downfall of any organization, and resolved to get rid of them quietly at the opportune time.

It’s amazing what enough alcohol can reveal about the people around you.

Still, Yoh couldn’t take his mind off Feilong’s smile. Everybody knew Feilong was a lightweight, and without his presence the man would not touch even a beer.  A few glasses of Tequila later, he was escorting a tipsy Feilong to his room. He made sure Feilong was properly put together for bed, before doing such and leaving. Not without stealing a touch of his skin though, his soft cheek, wanting a feel of any part of the man he could get, before leaving. Feilong would never allow such display of affection otherwise, he didn’t even think his feelings were requited and he had to wonder if the man didn’t drink often for the double reason he knew Yoh wanted him, want to feel him and not wanting to lose his composure around others at the same time. Feilong had an image to uphold, after all.

Now, Yoh was plagued by the picture of Feilong in bed, sleeping, displaying a rare beauty he only ever encountered with that one man. It was hard to not notice how his lashes, thick and full, framed his face exquisitely. That long hair, so soft and smooth was in a single braid and Feilong’s skin was radiant. If he could describe him in one word it would be sensual.

At his train of thought, Yoh shifted in his bed and tried to sleep; no use entertaining the unattainable idea. And that is why he was so surprised, sitting up and reaching under his pillow to pull out his semi-automatic and aim when the door opened suddenly.

“Put that away.”

Yoh exhaled gratefully when he realized it was Feilong, and he hadn’t shot him. He lowered the gun. “My apologies, Loaban.”

Feilong approached his bed and chuckled. “Forget the formalities, we’re behind closed doors.”

Yoh sat up in his bed and looked closely at Feilong as he approached. His movements were a little edgy, not the confident prowl of the leader of a successful underground organization, but the move of a man high on opium and still tipsy...maybe drunk. He should know because he’d seen all sides of the man before him at one point or another.

It was a sight when Feilong tipped his head to the side to brush back his now flowing hair from over his shoulder to behind his back. He shifted when the man indicated he wanted to sit beside him, genuinely wondering what had gotten into Feilong. Those enrapturing eyes, dilated from drugs and alcohol looked at him before Feilong spoke.

“Yoh, what do you want?”

Taken aback by the question, Yoh shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, I do not understand Loa...Feilong.”

Feilong looked away before his left hand came to rest lightly over his right breast, where the puckered flesh of his gunshot wound was. Yoh became increasingly concerned because that meant whatever was going on in Feilong’s head ran deeper than he could imagine...and it involved Asami somehow; always have and always will. “Is it hurting again?”

Yoh didn’t wait for an answer and moved to get the extra strength pain killers he kept on hand when Feilong shot out a hand to stop him. They stared at each other again and Yoh could see the storm brewing in those captivating eyes.

“I asked you a question, what do you want?”

Yoh still didn’t comprehend, but he went with the safest answer. “Whatever you want.”

“Bullshit.”

Yoh’s eyes widened when Feilong suddenly kissed him, covering his lips with his and demanding entry, for which he obeyed because he can’t deny Feilong anything, not even doing something he knows the man will regret later, like using sex to distract him from his problems. He opened his mouth to protest and Feilong jumped on the opportunity, sucking on his tongue and cutting off his question.

Yoh’s mind swirled with questions as Feilong became more fierce, pushing his head back against the headboard of his bed and its only his ingrained code of conduct that made him hesitate before he put his hand on the other man so he could push him back and break the kiss.

They were both breathing hard while they stared deeply into each other’s eyes.

“Feilong...”

Feilong’s brows creased. “Why did you stop me? You’re supposed to give me what I want.”

Yoh swallowed; the taste of Feilong, the feel of his soft lips and his need for more. But not like this. “I’m sorry, I believe you need to get some rest...”

Feilong scoffed before his grip on Yoh’s arm got tighter. “I’m exactly where I want to be. I trust you to a fault and it grates, so don’t deny me tonight and give me what I want.”

Yoh realized immediately what the problem was. He could curse to every corner of the world and back at Asami because the man was the epitome of most of Feilong’s emotional maudlin. At least this time he figured it was because of trust issues. He took Feilong’s hands in his, squared his shoulders and said, “You can trust me. I’ll give you anything you want, but you don’t want this.”

Feilong pulled his hands away harshly before his eyes darkened stormily. “How dare you insinuate that I don’t know what I’m doing...”

“I did not say that...”

“Get me a drink.”

Alcohol meant deeper intoxication and even deeper acts of desperation for Feilong. Yoh had to firm his resolve to utter the word that came next. “No.”

Feilong stopped abruptly, his eyes widened before slitting angrily as he tried hard to contain his building emotions. Yoh knew this was bad, he’d never outright said no to Feilong before because the man had issues with people who tried to boss him around or tell him what to do like Yantzu, and to a lesser extent, Asami did.

“Did you just...?”

“You need water to clear your head...”

“I want you to fuck me.”

Yoh stopped dead in his tracks, his heart hammering away as a drugged and drunk Feilong treated him in a way he’d never done before. Those words had been said so many times in his fantasies and even though his body reacted to it, his mind was the practical one that kept the rest of him in check. “You’re high and drunk...”

In the blink of an eye, Feilong pulled his .44 from the back of his Changshan and rested it point blank in the middle of Yoh’s forehead before saying, “I can shoot you for insubordination.”

Yoh knew Feilong couldn’t shoot him that easily, they’ve come too far but the fear he felt wasn’t for that, it was for the knowledge that Feilong could become this erratic and so out of control whenever he slumped into his depression and depreciation. He’d always wanted to sleep with Feilong, but not under these circumstances. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.”

Feilong laughed humourlessly, pressing the gun harder against his flesh and Yoh didn’t back down or flinch.

“It’s not possible for you to take advantage of _me_! You’re my subordinate; I’m taking advantage of _you_. The next time you insinuate such absurdness I’ll have your head on a platter. Now, do as I tell you or _I’ll kill_ _you_.”

Feilong’s pupils kept dilating and constricting and Yoh knew his toxicology levels were desperately high, he was almost fully gone to be behaving like this and he made a mental note to get a less pure batch of opium next time. He also knew that the best way to lessen the man’s anger would be the pretence of giving in. That would at least get him to lower the gun. “You’re right; I should and will always do what you say.”

“Strip.”

The command was firm and Yoh made to slowly pull at the buttons holding his night wear together, watching Feilong’s hands on the gun as he pulled it back to give him room. He could have easily taken the gun away, but one thing he knew is that even if Feilong saw him as a threat when intoxicated, he would still be a threat when the man wasn’t and the best thing to do was try to reason with him. “I bet if you allowed me to take care of you like I always have you’ll feel so much better.”

Feilong’s hand wavered. “I don’t trust anybody else.”

Yoh’s hand stilled and he looked into Feilong’s eyes, stared intensely until he saw it again; a litany of problems circling around trust issues. But he wondered to himself if it would be wise to do this, to let Feilong do anything he pleased as a way to prove Yoh’s loyalty? “If you only want a good time, I could hire a...”

“No. He’ll use me, they all want to use me.” Feilong dropped the gun before bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes, then he looked back at Yoh with a look bordering sad and angry.

Yoh didn’t have to ask who _he_ was –every Yantzu and Asami of the world- and he grabbed Feilong and pulled him towards his chest, hugging him fiercely, tightly, protectively until he felt the hot wetness of fresh tears on his chest. He wanted so much to protect Feilong from himself as much as assassins and back stabbers but didn’t know how, because Feilong wasn’t _that_ forthcoming with his feelings.

Even though he couldn’t see his face, Yoh could feel Feilong’s hands around his back, which slowly travelled down his thigh, searching until the man had one hand inside his pants, stumbling to get him to full attention and all he could think was _not like this, not like this_. But, he was getting hard and this was Feilong in his arms doing these things to him and there was a terminal war being fought between his mind and his body. Feilong kept his head down, face firmly pressed into his chest while he jacked him off almost methodically, instilling feelings of arousal that was so much more potent just because it was Feilong and nobody else. He didn’t move, kept his body firmly in place even though he wanted to thrust into that skilled hand with the strong grip. It felt good, so fucking good but it was just another way for Feilong to be stubborn and have his own way, to be rebellious and to hell with everything else. Even with the knowledge that Feilong might hurt himself more by doing this when his head was cleared because he would never want to be compared to men who used others selfishly, Yoh couldn’t stop. He wanted more, he wanted to give in to Feilong’s whims and do whatever he wanted because it felt so damn good. His body trembled while Feilong slowly pushed him back to lie on the bed and when he was settled, the man picked up the pace and leered over him in triumph while he jacked him off. He looked down at his cock, firm and hot in Feilong’s palm and a barely contained moan slipped past his lips.

“Yes,” Feilong hissed and Yoh closed his eyes and tried to breath.

“Feilong,” Yoh moaned as his stomach tightened and his balls drew up. Feilong was using his own precum as lube and the feeling washed over him like an inferno. Everything tightened dangerously, whip cord tight and when he felt the first spurt of cum hit his body, he jerked and groaned, then he moaned and writhed while Feilong kept his grip firm and his strokes even. He inhaled deeply before collapsing boneless on the bed when Feilong milked him of the last drop, then he showed him his cum covered hand.

“I know what you want, Yoh.”

Breathing hard, Yoh swallowed thickly.

“Now, you can fuck me, or I can screw you, your choice.”

Yoh tried to compose himself. “You’re high...”

“Take me higher.”

Yoh hesitated.  He decided to be honest with his feelings and try to find out the truth. When Feilong gripped the waist of his pants to draw them down he stilled him and said, “Wait. You have to promise me you’re only doing this because you want to and not because you feel you have to...”

Feilong diverted his gaze for a split second before he answered. “I want to forget...”

Yoh grabbed Feilong’s hands and held on to them tight before sitting up. “Feilong, you have to want me. I can’t be a replacement for anybody.”

At that Feilong gave him a confused look, complete with all the signs of emotional repression. “What, why?”

Yup, a bad idea. Yoh figured that maybe he could talk Feilong into seeing things his way if he’s so determined to do this. “Because you have to want me for me for us to have sex.”

Feilong flinched before pulling back, standing and shaking his head. “No, no. Every time I get too close...”

“We’ve been close for almost five years and I’ve never betrayed you, have I?”

With much hesitation, Feilong shook his head in the negative. “But, that doesn’t mean anything....”

Yoh went on to take full advantage of Feilong’s clouded and impaired judgement in the hopes that this would go the least disastrous route as possible. “I want you; you just proved it yourself, now I need you to want me back.”

And with those words, Yoh planted a firm, chaste kiss on Feilong’s lips. Feilong didn’t respond.

“Want me,” Yoh whispered against Feilong’s lips while he tried to deepen the kiss. Feilong stood stock still, not wanting to relent but Yoh can be really persistent when he put his mind to it. He moved down to Feilong’s neck, sucking lightly on the creamy skin before he kissed up to his ear and whisper once again, “We’ll have sex, only if you want me, Feilong.” Then he bit on the lobe lightly before sucking on it. Feilong’s breathe stuttered and Yoh kissed along his jaw before finding his way back to those luscious lips.

This time, Feilong did open his mouth and accepted him and they kissed long and slow, tentative in a way none of them had ever been with anyone else.

For Feilong, it was always about control and Yoh had just never found the one worthy of it until he met the Baishe leader. Now here they were, wrapped in each other and moving back to the bed until they were both sitting on it, still kissing tenderly.

Feilong kept trying to de-clothe him and Yoh pulled back before demanding, “Say it.”

Eyes wide and hesitant, Feilong looked at him before lowering his head to look at the fabric he was loosening from Yoh’s body. Yoh held Feilong’s chin between his thumb and index finger before bringing his face up so they could look into each others eyes. He reiterated, “Say it, please.”

Yoh ran his fingers softly over Feilong’s body, touching him like a lover would when the man still didn’t say anything after a while. He fingered his hair, massaged his scalp and then kissed him passionately once again. Then, Feilong drew in a breath, shuddering before whispering. “I want you, Yoh.”

Yoh could see that for Feilong, saying it made it so much more real, forcing him to accept it and he smiled softly for the first time in a long while. Then, he took Feilong to bed and showed him what tends to happen when things just go right and one’s actions are determine by need and desire and not a sense of obligation, indecision or pain.

 


End file.
